- Posted On October 30, 2020
Sexual monotony, for both of us, occurs. You’re not the first to think about how to spice things up, and you will definitely not be the last. For all sorts of reasons, couples can find themselves in sexual slumps. Our sexual desires alter over time, and our bodies do too. At the beginning of our relationship, the thing charmed us does not resonate in the same way anymore. It can get tedious to have the same form of sex over and over.
The thing is, it is not so easy to spice things up in the bedroom. Time, energy, and, most significantly, cooperation are needed. It would be best if you started a discussion regarding what you want with your partner. If you’re keen to try open roles, incorporating sex toys into the bedroom, or just getting a little more sex, a frank yet caring talk is what lies ahead. And we’ve been talking to four experts to find out just how to get it.
The scariest aspect of all this is not actually the talk. It begins it. How do you tell your girlfriend that you want to spice up things in the bedroom without undermining or otherwise insulting their performance?
Curb the complaints
You can make your demand after you have asked your partner what they want. Dr. O’Reilly provides the following example: “I would love to carve out a Sunday morning without phones to try this new massage oil I purchased and see where it leads.” However, she advises you, makes sure that your request is not a complaint. “We always wait until we’re irritated to speak up, and we don’t engage as well as we can,” says Dr. O’Reilly.
Make it a game
If this all sounds deeply awkward, take a page from Dr. O’Reilly’s book and instead begin with an exercise. Grab a piece of paper and a pen, and ask for the same thing from your mate. Write down on your paper how much you’d like to have sex. And write down, in the end, how much you think your partner wants to have sex. Papers share, “she instructs.” “Laugh and begin a debate.”
Use “I” statements
It can get difficult to talk about sex, but Dr. Dabney has built a fast-and-dirty template that should keep you on the right path in your discussion. “Focus on developing your sentences like this:” When you do Y, I feel X.
The use of a “I” statement would not place the individual’s burden and may thus be less insulting. “For instance, avoid making more specific comments such as,” You seem only to want missionary-style sex, “or” You don’t want to have oral sex anymore. “Actually, those are ways to attack your partner, criticize them, tell them they need to improve,” Dr. Dabney says.
There’s plenty of fun ahead, so get to talk. The quicker you chat, the quicker you get to all the good stuff.READ MORE